Empty Arms
by Feisty Pants
Summary: "So much has been taken away from you, Anna, but that doesn't mean that you have nothing to live for. Open your eyes." Rated T. Depression, Infant Loss.
1. 33 Days After

**33 Days After  
**

**_Elsa_  
**

* * *

Elsa stood outside of the room and waited. What would she say? How could she make any of this better? She looked at the splintered wood around the door frame and her head started to race. She spent years and years behind a locked door with Anna begging to come in. The tables have so quickly turned. With a deep breath, she decided that any words were better than none.

"Anna?" She gave the door a light push and she walked into the dusty room.

"Anna?" Elsa's voice reverberated through the large bedroom as she made a mental note to speak a bit quieter. The deep scarlet of the walls was no longer comforting and regal like it was when they were children. It was still powerful, but now, they seemed so daunting; taller, even. As if they could swallow someone up whole.

Tenderly, Elsa approached the four poster bed that Anna had been lying in for weeks. Only a small tuft of Anna's red hair could be seen from where Elsa was standing. Anna had pulled the pillows over her head and had curled up into herself.

Elsa gingerly reached out to touch the mountain of blankets and pillows. She rested her hand on what she hoped was her younger sister's shoulder. With a deep breath, she whispered, "Anna, you should get up. It's beautiful and sunny outside." Forcing a chuckle, she added, "Or if you don't like the sun, I can whip up a storm?"

Nothing.

"We could go ice skating or we could just take a look around the castle. You don't even have to talk. I just want to see you get out of this room. Sitting in here all day can't be good for you."

The only response Anna gave was a shuffle of sheets, as she pulled herself tighter into her cocoon.

With a sharp sigh, Elsa continued. "Anna, it's been weeks. I know you're hurting, but this," she cried with a sweep of her arm, "isn't you. Remember when you'd sprint through the hallways? Remember when you used to sing?"

Anna's arm appeared for a moment as she pulled the pillow around her head, sinking lower into her nest.

Elsa wanted to take that hand and rip her from the bed. She wanted to kick and scream, yell and toss a complete fit. Somehow, she kept her soft demeanor. Standing up from the bed, she walked across the room to a window, pulling the curtain away and letting some much-need sun inside. Her heart only dropped as she watched the dust particles swirl in the beam of light.

Turning back to the bed, she tried to coax Anna into the light.

"I'm worried about you, Anna! So is Kristoff. Why won't you talk to him? He loves you, Anna. He's hurting too."

The lightest sob emitted from the assortment of bedding. Elsa noticed a gentle shaking as Anna cried beneath.

Elsa swallowed as her eyes began to well up. Again, she walked over to the bed and put her hand on a post, running her fingers over the deep ridges in the column. Her voice was quiet as she uttered endearingly, "We lost so many years, Anna, but I'm asking you to let me be your sister right now. I know all about shutting people out. It will only make you feel more miserable."

Elsa took a risk and pulled the edge of a blanket toward her, uncovering Anna's sallow face. Anna didn't fight for the blanket back; instead she stared at the opposite walls. The light didn't reach her eyes like it used to when she loved to play and jest.

Taking a chance, Elsa climbed into the bed with her, and cautiously reached to touch Anna's hair. She fumbled with the mess of tangles before tracing her index finger across Anna's forehead. She remembered when Anna was just a baby and she'd doodle lazy circles on her cheeks to put her to sleep. "Anna – I," Elsa stumbled, "I want you to know that I'm here for you. Do you need to cry? I haven't seen you cry since the funeral. Do you want to scream? I can scream with you. We can stand on this bed right now and scream at the heavens. We can light a fire and eat a pound of those chocolate that you like, if it would help you. Just tell me, Anna, and I will do whatever it takes. I miss you."

Anna only blinked, allowing a single tear to slide down her nose and land in a dark spot on her pillow. Elsa noticed that her blue eyes weren't like the deep and mysterious like the ocean any longer. They were pale, like a storm cloud, swimming with depression and nightmares.

"I'll let you rest," Elsa whispered, standing up and walking toward the door again. With every step that Elsa took from the bed, she was filled with regret. "I'm here for you. We're all here for you, Anna."

Elsa was through the door and in the hallway when she heard a quiet murmur from Anna's room.

"_You don't know." _

Elsa stumbled as she turned around and sprinted back into the room. "You talked! Oh, Anna. What did you say?"

With great effort, Anna pulled herself into a sitting position and looked in Elsa's direction. Her hair was dull and unwashed and she had terrible dark pits beneath her eyes. Elsa almost didn't recognize her voice as Anna croaked, "You said that you know that I'm hurting. And there is no way that you could possibly know how much."

She seemed so calm, but her words stabbed her older sister like a sharp knife. Elsa clasped her hands together as she searched for words, "Of course I don't. I just meant that we're hurting with you. Oh, Anna. I didn't mean it that way."

Anna's feet were suddenly visible as she threw her blankets back and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Elsa tried to stifle a gasp as the scent of old sweat and dirt suddenly hit her.

"No one knows, Elsa!" Anna spat, rising from the bed using one of the posts to support her weight. The action caused her to breathe fairly heavily as she continued, "Mother and father died! I reached for you and I was rejected. You were the only person that I had left. You didn't talk to me for years and then mother and father died and my whole family was just… gone! I was all alone, Elsa. I had no one."

Elsa was perplexed as Anna doubled over, in a sudden coughing fit. The queen approached her sister to wrap an arm around her, but it was quickly broken as Anna slapped her hand away, screeching, "Still! That-that still could not have prepared me for this. Nothing could have ever prepared me for this. And with this, Elsa, I'm not alone! I wish I could be alone because everyone looks at me and they pity me! And I know that Arendelle is hurting with me, but I can't face them." Anna's legs seemed to collapse beneath her as she fell to the floor and leaned against the side of the bed, her neck craning backwards as she cried. Her fists grasped the corner of one of her blankets so hard that her knuckles began to pale. "I can't even look at my own husband, Elsa! I can't look at him, let alone speak to him!"

"A – Anna, calm down. We can work through –"

"NO." Anna shrieked. "I can't calm down. I can't calm down because I carried a life inside of me for the better part of a year and I had to sit and watch it fade away. I can't calm down because the only time I got to hold my baby was when she was taking her last breaths. I can't calm down because I will never know what color her eyes were. I just… can't!" Anna was fully on the floor now, curling up into herself again as sobs shook her frail body.

Elsa stood and watched from across the room, trying to be strong and failing. She wanted so much to walk over and hold her sister in her arms. To kiss her head, braid her hair and make her magic like she so often did when they were kids. She could only watch as Anna, broken, lay sobbing on the floor.

After many minutes, Anna reached up and wiped the tears off of her face with the corner of the dingy blanket.

"Elsa," she stuttered, "I-I stay in here because I can't… I can't be Anna anymore. I can't jump and run and play like I used to because I should be singing lullabies and nursing a sweet, precious baby. I can't be me without that sweet little girl that I only got to hold for a few hours. I can't sleep, I can't eat. There is nothing that I can do without thinking of her, Elsa! And God, when I think about her, I think about Kris. You saw her perfect blonde hair, she looked just like him. I cannot calm down and I cannot be myself and if you don't mind, I'd rather spend my time in here alone rather than in the middle of Arendelle where everyone looks at me like I'm some kind of failure."

Violently shaking her head, Elsa tried to approach her sister again. "Anna, you are not a failure."

"WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT?" Anna roared, pulling herself up to her feet once again. Standing alone, she looked like a mad woman. With a sort of hop, she travelled across the room and forcefully shut the curtains. The room grew dim again and Anna began pacing across the cold floor before she uttered something vile. "You don't have a husband or a child! How can you say that I'm not a failure when you have never known this kind of hurt? HOW? What have you lost? You're the Queen! You've can LITERALLY control the weather. What have you ever lost, Elsa?"

Elsa wanted to argue. She wanted so badly at that moment to spit in her sister's face, but she knew from experience that broken hearts can say hurtful things. She heard then heard her father's voice in her head. _Conceal, don't feel. _ With her heart pounding and tears pooling in her eyes, she turned away from her sister, "I lost you."

"That is nowhere close to what I am feeling, Elsa!"

"You – I…" Elsa began, searching for words and trying to stay composed, "You are wrong, Anna. I am sorry that you're hurting. I hate that you're hurting. God, if I could change all of this, I would in a heartbeat. But I can't. And no, I don't know exactly what your hurt feels like. But I know what it feels like to lose someone that means the world to you."

"God, Elsa! Get out," the princess exclaimed, walking slowly back to her bed.

"No, just listen to me! I will leave you alone, but you are going to listen to me before you waste your life away alone, in this room."

Anna's demeanor changed slightly. She seemed to stand a little straighter before climbing back into her bed. Being the Queen of Arendelle did teach Elsa a thing or two about demanding attention. She turned and walked to the door, standing beneath the familiar frame as she again, attempted to reason with her heartsick sister. "I lost so many years with you. I didn't get to see my favorite person grow up and that's because I was so afraid that I locked myself in a room for years. I don't want that to happen to you. So much has been taken away from you, Anna, but that doesn't mean that you have nothing to live for. Open your eyes."

Elsa's fingers grazed the wall as she walked out of the room, not even bothering to close the door behind her. She turned and walked down the hall where Kristoff was waiting near the staircase. He ran his hand through his blonde locks and didn't even try to hide the redness in his eyes.

"She hates me," Elsa muttered, slinking to the ground to sit next to him on the first step.

"She talked to you," he replied, taking her hand and giving it a friendly squeeze. There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "She hasn't talked in weeks. You opened the door, Elsa."

* * *

**Thank you for taking the time to read. I'm new to Frozen FF, but adore the story. This story is about infant loss, depression and finding light when you think that there is none. I would love it if you'd take a moment to review and tell me how I'm doing. Or if there is anything you'd like to see. Most of my chapters are outlined already, but I am always willing to take suggestions. **


	2. 19 Days Before

**19 Days Before**

_**Kristoff**_

* * *

_He has to run faster. _

_He has to get to Anna._

_He never met Hans, but at first glance, Kristoff knows that he is no good. _

_The ice storm suddenly subsides and Anna suddenly starts running away from him towards Elsa and the man with the sword. There is nothing that he can do. There is no force that could allow him to stop her. He stops, unable to move at all. He watches as Anna slides between her sister and the evil man. _

_This time, she doesn't turn to ice. He watches as the sword hits his true love, his fixer-upper._

_He tries to scream, but is unable to make a sound. He tries to run, but he is on his knees and it as if ten men are weighing him down. He is helpless. _

Kristoff woke with a jolt and a whimper. His reflexes had him reach to his right for his wife; the only person that could comfort him when he had the awful night terrors. Before he could even open his eyes, he realized that something was different.

Groggily, he pushed himself up and used his fist to wipe the sleep away from his eyes. The blankets on Anna's side of the bed were parted and she was nowhere to be found.

"Anna?" He whispered, looking around the as he pulled himself out of bed. The sheets on his wife's side of the mattress were wrinkled and tossed aside without a thought. He pulled his corner up to the pillow and smoothed the blanket as he tried to wake up a bit and shake off the fear that his reoccurring dream brought him.

"Anna, where are you?" he asked again, a bit louder.

No response.

With a groan, he stumbled across the bedroom before he found a candle to light. Where could his unpredictable and very pregnant wife be?

He walked out of the bedroom and across the hall to one their shared chamber. After checking the large water basin that they bathed in, he walked farther down the hallway before arriving at Elsa's door.

This is where he had a problem. Walking into his sister-in-law's bedroom in the middle of the night did not seem to be the most polite thing in the world, but he needed to know if Anna was in there. Holding his breath, he slowly pushed the door open, doing his best not to make a sound.

Elsa was asleep in her bed, alone.

Kristoff couldn't help but notice that she slept on her back and didn't seem to make any movements at all. Unlike Anna, who gave him a new bruise every single night.

_Where could she be, _he asked himself.

He climbed down a flight of stairs and winced every time that they made a creak, not wanting to wake anyone up. The poor servants were beside themselves lately. With Anna due to deliver before the season was over, he really couldn't blame them. She was very unpredictable lately.

He walked through the dining room and into the kitchen, where he found Olaf sleeping under his tiny winter storm cloud. Kristoff couldn't help but notice that his face was a bit… misshapen. It looked as if a boot print was where his right eye should be.

"Olaf," he whispered, prodding his little snow friend awake. "Olaf, wake up."

"No, Sven! This is my nose! It is not a snack!", the snowman replied, still dreaming.

"Olaf!"

"Hmm?" he asked, opening his eyes slowly. "What?"

"Wake up! I can't find Anna."

Olaf spread his arms out in a big yawn and finally looked Kristoff in the eye. "Good morning!"

Kristoff gave him a shove, losing patience with his sleepy comrade, "Have you seen Anna?"

"Oh. She stepped on me."

"She… she stepped on you?"

"She said that she needed to get in the pantry."

Kris walked over to the pantry and saw that many of the jars and canisters had been moved around.

Suddenly, he knew exactly where Anna was.

"Go back to sleep, Olaf!" he insisted, as he climbed over his friend and ran down the corridor and through the palace gates.

"Hmm. Okay, Sven."

* * *

Kris exited the palace gates and thanked the guard that informed him that Anna had been through less than an hour ago. Looking down the hill and to the stables, he could see a faint flicker of light through one of the windows.

After a brief walk, he pushed the swinging door open and saw Sven, sulking in the corner. He walked up to his reindeer and ruffled his fur, "What's wrong, buddy? You look upset."

Sven swung his head toward his stall, where Kris could hear a ruffling. He chuckled and gave the reindeer a nice pat before walking over to the entrance of the stall. Looking in, he saw Anna sitting on a pile of hay and holding a bag of carrots.

"Good morning, my strange, strange wife."

Anna quickly jumped up and wobbled a bit, her center of gravity had changed quite a bit in the last few months. "This. Is. Embarrassing!", the redhead exclaimed, covering her face with the nearly empty sack of carrots.

Kristoff couldn't help but laugh as he walked over to Anna and gently moved the bag from her face, keeping his hand on hers as he lowered it.

"Anna, I was worried!"

"I'm sorry, Kris! Gosh. I woke up and I felt hungry and I knew that breakfast wouldn't be for hours, so I went to the kitchen because I usually can just have a roll or a chocolate and go back to sleep!"

As she said all of this, Kristoff did his best not to laugh. The pregnancy was new to both of them and lately, Anna could start crying at the drop of a hat if she felt that someone was laughing at her.

She continued.

"Anyway! I went to the kitchen and I had some bread, but I was still hungry. And then I had a chocolate… okay, I had three chocolates! But I was still hungry and I knew that I wanted something specific, but I just couldn't tell WHAT! I just tore through that pantry because I was sure that I could find it if I looked hard enough."

"Anna, I'm not upset. I was just worried when I couldn't find you!"

"Wait, wait! I'm not done!" Anna exclaimed, turning around and waddling over to a pile of carrot stem. She started gathering them and throwing them back into the bag as she began chattering again. "So! I almost gave up, but when I turned around to go back to bed, I stepped on Olaf… He didn't even stir; I hope he's okay…"

"He's fine."

"Good! So, I stepped on Olaf and when I looked down, I saw his nose and I knew!"

"Carrots?" he asked, innocently.

"Yes!" she cried, "How did you know?"

Kristoff did his best. He really did, but he couldn't help bursting into laughter and slapping his thigh.

"Hey!" Anna shouted accusingly as her eyes began to well up. With her brow furrowed and much more mellow tone, she asked, "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Oh! Don't cry, feisty pants."

Quickly, he did his best to straighten his face as he walked over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her. She fought the gesture for a brief moment, but soon sunk into the embrace and buried her face in his chest with a groan.

"This baby is turning me into a crazy person."

"Hey," he grinned, lowering his head and whispering in her ear, "You were a crazy person long before you were pregnant."

She did her best not to smile, but it was hard to resist his playful jests. Pulling away slightly, Anna placed a hand on her protruding belly and smirked.

"Goodness. I'm craving the strangest foods! I start crying when I'm happy or sad… or bored! I'm pretty sure that she is going to be a handful just like her father."

"What?" Kris exclaimed, his hand joining hers over her stomach, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"She'll be sarcastic and moody. You're going to be her best friend. She's going to adore you..."

Anna kept speaking, but Kristoff didn't hear what she said next as he imagined Anna with a child. He had no doubts from the beginning that she would be a wonderful mother. He couldn't fathom loving her any more at that moment and he thanked fate or the stars or whatever it was that brought her to him.

"…I can see her begging you to take her with you when you go and harvest ice. And I can see you telling her that she's not old enough to go quite yet. Oh! And I can't wait to see her face light up when we go and visit your family for the first time! And –"

"Wait, wait, wait! She?" Kris interrupted, throwing an arm around her and nodding goodnight to Sven on their way out of the small barn. "Why do you keep saying she?"

"Because…" Anna searched for a moment for an explanation. "She's a she!"

"How could you possibly know that?"

"I just do," Anna responded as she cracked a big grin.

He took that as a reasonable answer and they walked, arm in arm, towards the castle again.

Once they made it back to their bedroom, sunlight was creeping in through the windows. The couple climbed into their bed and faced each other, smiling.

"You're not going back to sleep, are you?" Kris asked, yawning.

"Not a chance," Anna giggled as she pulled the blankets back, uncovering her belly. "If the sun's awake, the baby's awake. That, she gets from me."

Kris laughed as he shifted to be closer to his wife, reaching up and brushing the hair away from her face. He gave her a kiss on the forehead, lingering for an extra moment with a sigh.

"What was that for?" she questioned, taking his hand and lacing her fingers with his.

"I just love you."

"I love you too, Kris."

"And I," he announced, squirming down in the bed to place a kiss on Anna's tummy, "love you, too."

* * *

**Thank you for the warm reviews, folks! I hope that this chapter leaves you with a smile instead of sadness. Also: I would love if everyone would be a bit forgiving with me if I'm not completely historically accurate - let's remember that there is a talking snowman and call it even. :) I so appreciate the support and welcome to the community! Have an awesome day!**


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